I aint mean to cut their balls off

#BrainPharts I must have spit this to someone and had someone else read it..

I was speaking of my initiation but a lot of things are on my mind right now...
He said Spill It.....
You wanted to know what I went through
when I went though what I went though
Sighsssss
which time
The lesson comes down to how much abuse can I withstand. 
Truth be told not a lot.
See silence can have the same impact as a razor to the face, punch in the eye, kick to the gut, burn on the chest.
Silence can be as maddening as the screams no one hears during a rape,
trapped in the throat because one desires to live.
but this collective phrase is not even the event
it shows the resiliency to not back down
what we have to look at it just why
one can be in such situations
Im not flip at the mouth
Im rather quiet
unless in public situations where I have to pump a crowd
but for some reason
my nature may threaten others
and when they cannot control me
there is an issue
I just want to be me
I was damn old when I was young
I aint mean to cut their balls off
but damn it seemed that mine were bigger than their's
See.. this is the exact same reason 30 years worth of journals slipped out my hands... folks aint ready....
I recall too much

Hmmmmm